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To make you feel better, firstly, avoid jumping to conclusions. If you tend to jump to worst-case scenarios, you’re not alone. This thought pattern is common, but it’s not very helpful.
If you believe your friends no longer care about you, write down a few reasons why you think so.
Then, write down a few points to prove that they do care.
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If you end up with more evidence that they do care, there’s likely another explanation for what happened.
However, if you have truly been excluded, it might be a signal for you to take a step back and reconsider your relationship with them, especially if you’ve been left out intentionally on several occasions.
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In both of these situations, talking to others involved can help you make sense of what happened. It’s better to talk things over than to worry about what other people might think or feel.
Conveying the right message
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Considering what your actions might be conveying is a possible way to look at the situation.
For example, maybe you got very absorbed in another activity and lost track of things happening around you, such as friends making plans for a party. When you did not respond or add on to their plans, they may assume that you didn’t have any interest.
If you want to be included in your friends’ plans, have you been conveying this desire clearly through your body language and behaviour?
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People may also assume that you do not want to hang out with them if you may have frequently turned down invitations in the past.
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Consider that people leave you out of events they believe you will not enjoy too. For example, if your friends know that you don’t like loud places, they may not invite you to go to a pretty busy theme park with them.
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So, you might need to make the first move of reaching out to show that you are interested and want to do something together. It could be as simple as “I know I’ve been busy lately but I am quite free now! How about a movie night at my house?”
It’s your turn: write an invitation to someone you want to catch up with.
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It’s pretty difficult to know how you come across to others, so if you’re at a loss, talking to someone can allow you to understand this situation even better.
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When people exclude you or forget you repeatedly, you might start to wonder why you don’t belong or why people don’t seem to like you.
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Believing you don’t belong can contribute to a loss of confidence and self-esteem. This can happen regardless of whether you’ve been left out for the first time or on a more regular basis.
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Affirmations and positive self-talk can help you restore faith in yourself. For example, try saying this to yourself: “People have enjoyed my company before and they will again.”
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Feeling more confident can empower you to try connecting with others instead of waiting for an invitation too.
Write something nice about yourself, something that you are proud of :)
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Sometimes, you just don’t get a satisfying explanation for being excluded and have to accept that you might have been left out intentionally. But that doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong.
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Understandably, you might feel hurt and angry. But don’t let it ruin your day. Call up another friend or pop some popcorn and have a movie date with yourself.
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When existing relationships do not provide the emotional and physical support you need, that might be a sign that it's time for you to form new friendships.
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People change over time, and this often comes along with new interests and relationships. People may still care but lack the time or space to commit to your friendship.
As long as you have tried to let your friends know you’re available and still care, that is all that matters. You did great!
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In the meantime, you can avoid loneliness by forging connections with others who share your interests.
Who is someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to and want to get to know better?
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When you feel upset, talking to someone you trust can help. They may not have any solutions but expressing your feelings can make you feel better. They can also help you see things in different ways that you may not have considered.
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At the very least, them being with you is a reminder that there are people who do want your company!
Who is someone you trust and can turn to?
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You have reached the end of this pod!
Thanks for staying till the end :)
I'm ready to go!
